Capricorn Season is Almost Upon Us

In the past, I only checked my horoscope whenever I felt an existential crisis coming along. I’d find comfort in knowing that my cranky mood or pitiful luck was down to the stars giving me a hard time. More recently, however, I’m making a much more concentrated effort to figure out what exactly it means to be a Capricorn, and how this pseudo-science can help me live my best life in this life.

Horoscopes go beyond a daily, weekly or monthly digest of zodiac predictions, though. It’s more insightful to take a look at your birth chart, which, personally, has given me a lot to take in. They go into way more detail about planets and houses, and they’re dependent upon where and what time you were born.

There are numerous websites which can formulate your individual chart, but there’s an app that a friend told me about which has been instrumental in my quest for Capricornian truth. It’s called Co–Star, and you should download it ASAP.

Co–Star gives you a horoscope prediction based entirely on your natal chart, and what I’ve learnt from using it is that I’m a soulless asshole. I try to reassure myself that it only equips me with recourses and not absolutes. Or so I hope.

So what planets and houses are involved, you may ask. Here’s a breakdown, paraphrasing my Co–Star chart.


The sun determines your ego, identity and role in life. My sun sign is in Capricorn, which means I’m inherently responsible, serious, efficient, and rational. Apparently it can cause power-hungry ambitiousness, and I have a tendency for workaholism and success. I’m emotionally quiet, and I need to learn to overcome that by opening up and having fun.

It’s in my first house. I’ll take that.


The moon affects your emotions, moods and feelings. It reflects your personality when you’re deeply comfortable. My moon is in Taurus, meaning my emotional self is highly romantic and sentimental.

The moon is in my fifth house, so I’ll find security and safety through romance, self-expression, creativity and pleasure. Again, I’ll take that.


The ascendant is the mask you present to people. It can be displayed through your personal style and how people perceive you during initial encounters. My ascendant is in Sagittarius, which means I come across independent, optimistic and confident, though sometimes blunt and overly critical. APPARENTLY, I’m a charming conversationalist, and my free-spirited approach might come off as restless or easily bored.

You know, I never really thought of myself as free-spirited, but that’s good to know. Like, really good to know.


Mercury determines how you communicate, talk, think, and process information. It’s also a big indicator of how you learn. My mercury is in Sagittarius, so my intellect is expansive, boundary-pushing and independent. I’m a big-picture thinker. I tend to be sarcastic and make other people feel uncertain. It’s in my twelfth house.


Venus is the planet I was most concerned about, because let’s face it, we all read horoscopes purely to monitor how well we’re doing in the romantic realm and if we’ll ever, just ever meet the butterfly-inducing one. Venus determines how you express affection and the qualities you’re most attracted to. My Venus is in Sagittarius, so my romantic side is curious and easily bored.

Venus is in my twelfth house, where my love is expressed in privacy, secrets, and introspection. Whatever that means.


Mars is the planet of aggression. It determines how you assert yourself, take action, and the energy surrounding you. My Mars is in Capricorn, so I tend to assert myself in a way that’s responsible, efficient, and I think things through intentionally. I’m motivated by ambition, and my rationality sometimes seems soulless.

It’s in my fifth house, which means I put a lot of energy in my self and self-image.



One of the two social planets, Jupiter rules idealism, optimism, and expansion. My Jupiter is in Scorpio, and I achieve understanding through passion, intensity, and finding the deep heart of things.

It’s in my eleventh house, meaning I find success through social status.


Saturn is the other social planet. It rules responsibility, restrictions, limits, boundaries, fears, and self-discipline. My Saturn is in Aquarius, so I struggle with obstinacy, a superiority complex, and being overly detached.

What the F.

It’s in my second house, meaning I have difficulties with money, material possessions, and security.


Uranus rules innovation, rebellion, and progress. My Uranus is in Capricorn. It’s in my first house, manifesting in rebelling against dated expectations of my self and self-image.


Neptune tends to outline your dreams, imagination, and the unconscious. Philosophical stuff. My Neptune is in Capricorn, meaning I find inspiration through hard work, responsibility, seriousness, and ambition.

It’s in my first house, so it’s got something to do with my self and self-image. Yet again.


Pluto, dearest pluto. Such an unassuming planet, and yet it rules power, intensity, obsession, and control. My Pluto is in Scorpio, so my psyche is comparatively passionate, intense, serious, private, self-obsessed (ha), and perceptive.

It’s in my eleventh house, which means I’m personally transforming outdated standards of friendship and social status.

If you read all of that, congrats and kudos to me for not boring you. If you know me personally, drop me a text and let me know if you think any of this is true. I want to know your hard-hitting thoughts, folks.